A Holistic Approach To Addiction Treatment

Addiction is a complex problem that has many contributing factors. The first bridge to cross would be to get clean which may involve a medical detox, and from then on the addict would need to stay away from addictive substances and activities.

This is not the end of the recovery process, it is not complete. In fact it has only just begun. Addiction is deep rooted and even though the addict may be physically clean from any addictive substances, the negative behavior of the addict and the “stinking thinking” is still very much present.

A Holistic Approach To Addiction Treatment

The Importance Of Holistic Addiction Treatment

Addiction treatment very much focuses on addressing making changes to the way that an addict thinks and behaves. This is done through individual counseling, group therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, 12 step meetings, religious counseling and/or SMART recovery meetings, as well as holistic addiction treatment. It is through this process that will help the addict achieve long term sobriety.

An addict needs to focus on the physical, spiritual and emotional aspects of recovery from addiction and not just one aspect. Taking a holistic approach to addiction treatment will give the addict a much better chance at long term recovery.

Here are some holistic addiction treatment methods that you can consider including in your recovery plan:

Massage for holistic addiction treatment

Massage

Massage therapy has incredible benefits and incorporating it into your treatment plan is highly recommended.

Being in active addiction is stressful and comes with many worries, feelings of guilt, anger and resentment. Deciding to go to rehab or joining a recovery group is scary and comes with a whole new set of concerns for an addict. Being in early recovery and working through your past and problems can be traumatic in itself.

Massage can help to relieve emotional stress and tension that has built up.

Detox is physically traumatic as well as emotional. Massage increases dopamine and serotonin (the feel good hormones) as well as improving circulation and removes metabolic waste from your system. This will not only help your body to detox faster but also to make the process of detox less painful and stressful.

Massage can also improve sleep which is something many addicts struggle with.

Touch may have invoke negative feelings for addicts. Including massage therapy can help to make touch have a positive association.Very often addicts may have a very emotional reaction to massage therapy which is perfectly normal.

Yoga addiction treatment holistic

Yoga

Yoga is more than just a form of exercise, it is a mindful process that teaches you how to connect your mind, body and breath. It is about self-awareness and focusing inward.

The benefits of yoga for addiction treatment include:

  • improved sleep
  • increase in energy levels
  • stress relief
  • increase in self-awareness and self-reflection
  • improved self-image and self-confidence
  • pain relief
  • reduced fatigue
  • increased physical strength and stamina
  • emotional healing

Yoga provides a healthier coping mechanism for addicts which can help to prevent relapse, reduce symptoms of withdrawals and cravings.

Meditation

Meditation can be done in many different ways such as alone or in a group, in silence or with music, your own meditation or a guided meditation.

Meditation has physical, mental and spiritual benefits which makes it an incredible tool for addiction treatment.

Physical benefits include decreased tension related pain,  lowered blood pressure, increased serotonin and increased energy levels.

Mental benefits include increased calmness, decreased stress and anxiety and improved emotional stability.

Spiritual benefits include increased creativity, open-mindedness and happiness.

Meditation will help you to create that feeling of oneness, of being in touch with your mind and your body.

Acupuncture holistic addiction treatment

Acupuncture

Acupuncture is a key component of Traditional Chinese Medicine. It works on the belief that there are lines of energy running through the body which are called meridians. When there is any pain, discomfort or disease it is believe that these meridians are blocked. Acupuncture uses needles to remove the blockages and free the flow of energy.

The benefits of acupuncture for recovery are:

  • improved sleep
  • reduce in cravings
  • lessened withdrawals
  • decrease in anxiety
  • pain reduction
  • modulated emotions

Reiki holistic addiction treatment

Reiki

Reiki is a Japanese practice used for relaxation and stress relief. It is based on the belief that life energy flows through the body. If your life energy is low then you are more likely to get to get ill or feel stress. If your life energy is high you are more likely to happy, healthy and in harmony. Reiki practitioners make use of palm healing to transfer energy through their hands to benefit their patient.

Nutritional therapy for addiction treatmnt

Nutritional Therapy

The importance of good nutrition during the recovery process cannot be emphasized enough. Addicts make poor eating choices during active addiction and need to focus on eating properly when in treatment and in recovery.

Eating the right foods can make the detox and withdrawal process a little bit easier. Getting in the proper nutrition can also help your body to recover and repair itself after the use of drugs.

Part of recovery is learning healthy living habits and eating properly needs to be high on this list of healthy habits.

Getting in the right vitamins and minerals will have a positive impact on your mental well-being. Good nutrition means stable blood sugar, which in turn will help to keep your moods stable.




These are just some of the types of holistic treatments available for addiction treatment. They key to holistic treatments is that they aim to treat the person as a whole, not just one single element of the symptoms. The same should be said of an addiction treatment plan, just treating the behavioral aspect of addiction is often not going to be adequate.

The best possible approach is to team up holistic treatments with traditional addiction treatment.

The goal is to treat all the underlying issues that an addict is faced with, which will result in changed behaviors, improved physical and emotional health, as well as a spiritual awakening.

Holistic approach to addiction treatment pin

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Careful Not to Trade One Addiction for Another After Treatment

The world is full of temptation. Some of us can go through life having a cigarette once a year, a few beers a month, some can even experiment with drugs and never feel the need to do it again. If you have already been through addiction and recovery once, then you know your limitations. Most people do not, in fact, discover precisely where their weaknesses lie, so while it was a tough lesson, you can yourself lucky in that regard. So now that you know your limitations, now that you know your weaknesses and your strengths, you already have a solid foundation for spotting a new potential addiction when you see it.

Careful not to trade one addiction for another

Not Every Addiction Seems Immediately Dangerous

We probably don’t need to tell you that addiction is not limited strictly to dangerous drugs and alcohol. If you’re going to choose a drug to do every single day, marijuana is certainly safer than cocaine or opiates. But, when you spend all day every day as high as you can possibly get, other areas of your life are still going to suffer. Even a so called healthy addiction can do more harm than good, and addiction can take the form of, well, just about anything. For instance:

  • Gambling
  • Sex
  • Video games
  • Weightlifting
  • Running
  • Food
  • “Softer” drugs like coffee and marijuana
  • Shopping
  • Work

Cross Addiction into work

Are All Addictions Bad?

This is just a list of common addictions, and yes, some of them, like running, are healthy. Even food addiction can be healthy if you’re eating well and exercising, and addiction to work at least makes you money rather than costing you money. The problem is not so much the activity itself as your relationship with the activity. Is it costing you time you’d like to spend with friends and family? Is it interfering with other areas of your life? Is it a healthy habit, or a dangerous compulsion? Luckily, you should remember what it was like the first time you developed an addiction, how to spot the signs and keep yourself in check, but it’s not always easy to be objective about your own behavior.




Ask Someone Who Can Be Objective

If you have a friend who’s always able to give you some tough love when you need it, you can ask them to keep an eye on you. It’s a good idea to pursue new hobbies and interests following recovery, so as you’re exploring these avenues, you can check in with your friend now and then and ask if you’re showing any familiar patterns.

Meaningful Pursuits Vs. Addiction

You’ve got to fill your time with something, right? That’s all we can really do on this Earth. Truth be told, the line between addiction and a healthy pursuit can be blurry. A passion and an addiction sound almost the same on paper. If you’re a bit of a bookworm, maybe you spend a lot of your disposable income on books, and you spend most weekend alone in your room reading. That sounds a lot like being a drug addict or an alcoholic, and yet it’s not really the same thing. It’s not always easy to tell the difference, but generally speaking it comes down to this: Do you control it, or does it control you? If you’re concerned that your routine is less a healthy habit and more of an addiction, take a day off and see how you feel.




Pace Yourself

Moderation in all things is essential. If you have a new routine that does not involve drugs or alcohol, and it’s a routine that you really enjoy, if it’s helping you to meet like-minded individuals and if you find it fulfilling, there’s no reason to quit just because you’re worried it might be growing into an addiction.

But, pace yourself, keep an eye out for familiar patterns, and make sure that you’re the one in control.

Developing good habits is part of living a successful life, and keeping those habits under control is how you keep them from becoming addictions. If you love spending all your free time at the gym, there’s really nothing wrong with that as long as you know how to turn it off and relax when appropriate. And be patient with yourself. Just because you completed treatment doesn’t mean you’re magically cured, so go forth with the understanding that a tendency towards compulsion is something you taper off.

Trading one addiction for another is a common occurrence post-rehab. By making yourself aware, you can prevent going down the rabbit hole and stay tuned in to your recovery.


About The Author

Authored by Ocean Hills.


 

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Using Fear To Overcome Addiction

We humans are complex creatures, to say the least.

We might have feelings of sadness, joy, hopelessness, inspiration, and depression, potentially all on the same day. Learning how to cope with our feelings about daily life and addiction is key to overcoming the many obstacles in our path.




For example, an argument with a spouse may bring feelings of frustration and lead to despair. When we dwell on these types of feelings, we become more vulnerable to making choices with negative consequences. The stimulus was probably not that big of a deal.

The argument might have been (and probably was) about something trivial. Something that you both would forget about quickly. But once you let it bother you, your mind automatically looks for some kind of relief.

That relief comes in the form of giving into your addiction, more times than not.

There was a study done on smokers that highlights an important aspect of how we view our addiction. In a poll, the most common response to a question about smoking was that lighting up a “cigarette calmed them down”.

But did it?

Using Fear To Overcome Addiction social

It turns out that those who suffer from a smoking addiction are constantly being harassed on the inside, not being able to concentrate or control their nerves, until they get to smoke. The act of smoking didn’t have the effect they thought it did at all.

It’s like if you were at a basketball game but was on the bench the whole time. You want desperately to get into the game! You’re antsy and irritable because obviously the only joy you get is by actually playing. The coach finally puts you in, but has you tie one hand behind your back. But hey, at least you’re playing, right?

This is the way smoking affects your perception. The times when you feel like you’re getting a “calm down” are actually the times when your hands are tied. You’re not better off than before, in fact you’re still worse off than normal, but because you feel a little bit better about the given action, your mind alters reality.

It’s a harrowing thought.

Any addiction can affect us in similar ways. Alcohol has had a crippling affect on the human race over the past century. Don’t worry, I’m not advocating for any bans or prohibition, but let’s just think about it for a minute.

How many relationships have been ruined by alcohol?

How many sexual assaults have there been where alcohol is involved?

How many children have been left destitute because of the DUI charge of a parent?

This is a beverage, people.

But it’s much more than that. It has the power to dull our senses and affect the way we act. It has the power to help us forget the hard times. It might help us sleep.

So here’s the idea: Instead of using Inspiration as a conduit for change, how about using fear?

Many people see fear as the enemy, something that grips us tight, something we can’t escape. They see it as something innate, like we were born with it and will die with it too. This can’t be any further from the truth, though.

For example, the fear of public speaking is one of the most common phobias in the country year after year. It makes us nervous, embarrassed, and even sick to our stomachs at times. But can your same logic that fear is ingrained in us be mitigated by the fact that thousands of people every year work on it, change, and master the art of speaking in front of a group? If their fear can motivate them to change, perhaps yours can too.




And that’s the key.

Use fear to motivate you instead of stifle your growth. Let me provide a disclaimer here, though. If you deal with severe depression, anxiety, or have other factors involved, this may not be the approach for you. Make sure to consult a rehabilitative specialist or counselor before going about these tactics.

When it comes to addiction, we miss out on a lot of things.

Write them down:

  • Time with spouse
  • Money saved by spending it on addiction
  • Playing sports or participating in other hobbies
  • Health
  • Spending time with your kids

In the case of alcohol, think of the consequences of getting in your car when you aren’t fully able to focus on the road. The fear of bodily harm in a car accident can be a powerful motivator to call a friend, get help, and work towards not having the drink in the first place.

Addictions can take many different forms, as indicated by the horrific show on TLC, “My Strange Addiction”. The problem with this type of programming is it highlights the dependence aspect, but doesn’t show all the effects in real life. It’s only  It’s almost like it gives license to mock the trials of others when maybe we have a problem ourselves, just a different one.

As you think of the negative consequences of having an addiction, let the fears of continuing it  propel you to acceptance and freedom by starting the road to recovery.

Fear can be a good thing.

Remember that.

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Does Tramadol Get You High?

Tramadol is a prescription drug; it is not banned unlike Cocaine, ecstasy, and other drugs in that category. However, it is an opiate just like heroin, codeine, methadone or morphine which means it can acts on opioid receptors in the brain to help the user relieve pain and also increases serotonin levels which will lead to a feeling of euphoria and pleasure.




This drug is a synthetic opioid analgesic which means it is used as a painkiller to manage different levels of pains such as arthritis or pain experienced after surgery. Your doctor may prescribe Tramadol for you if you are experiencing serious pain. Taking this drug in a moderate amount will help you to experience longer lasting pain relief without the need to ingest more pain-relieving medications.

Tramadol drug is categorized as a schedule IV substance. Taking tramadol in the amount prescribed by your doctor will likely lead to no side effects or addictions. However, there have been cases of many people who overdose on this drug and some suffering from the side effects of tramadol. Overall, the side effects of tramadol is not as serious as that of heroin or morphine

Does Tramadol Get You High

Can I get High on Tramadol?

Yes, you can get high on tramadol. However, unlike cocaine or ecstasy, it carries a lower risk of addiction since it has mild euphoric effects and in some cases, it is imperceptible.

It is also very possible to get addicted to tramadol. However, the risk of getting addicted to tramadol is lower than other opioids. A research showed that some patients who take this drug for a long time may develop a tolerance which leads to patterns of abuse. The drug can as well trigger addiction in the people with no history of drug addiction.

The effect of tramadol will vary among different users. You can get high depending on how much you went over the safe limit. Some people who take tramadol may never experience a euphoric sensation or become high.

You are more likely to become high by taking tramadol when you are not suffering from pain. Some users prefer to take 50mg, while there are others who prefer to take 100mg or 200mg. You can as well become high by taking tramadol for its medicinal purposes.

What Are the Desired Effect of Tramadol?

The main objective of tramadol is to kill pain for a longer period of time. However, most users abuse this drug to feel good. It shares the same effects with heroin and morphine but much weaker.

Some of the desired effects from abusing tramadol include:

  • Euphoric feeling
  • Lack of pain
  • Elated mood
  • Anxiety reduction
  • Feelings of warmth
  • Feelings of well-being
  • Better sexual performance
  • A state of relaxation




What Are the Side Effects of Tramadol?

The problem is that most people take tramadol for recreational uses as a result of their addiction which usually leads to a host of side effects. On the other hand, one may suffer from these side effects as a result of the irresponsible or careless use of this drug.

Some of these side effects include:

  • Dry mouth
  • Loss of appetite
  • Dizziness
  • Headache
  • Difficulty falling asleep
  • Nausea
  • Diarrhea
  • Constipation
  • Tremulousness
  • Sweating

In some cases, abuse of tramadol can lead to serious side effects such as:

  • Agitation
  • Fever
  • Hallucinations
  • Hives and blisters
  • Lack of coordination
  • Rapid heartbeat

What Are the Long-Term Effect of Tramadol?

In most cases, doctors won’t agree to prescribe tramadol for a long term use because of its side effect. Using tramadol for a very long time can lead to a lot of undesirable consequences. Some of these consequences include:

  • Tolerance

Too much intake of tramadol can lead to high level of tolerance. This means the user will need a higher amount of the drug to feel the effect.

  • Physical Dependence

When taken for a long time, the body will now depend on the drug to function properly. In most cases, the user will become sick if he stops taking the drug.

  • Cognitive Decline

Just like other opioids in this category, taking tramadol for a long time will affect the way you reason. Your brain function will be impaired and you may find it more difficult to understand some easy task.

Seeking Help

Are you or your loved one addicted to tramadol? There is no need to feel shame and avoid seeking treatment. The only way out is by talking to a professional who understands how you can safely withdraw from using the drug. Speak to an expert concerning your tramadol abuse and request for treatment before the problem gets worse.

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Giving Up Alcohol: 8 Health Changes You Can Expect

Giving up alcohol may seem like a big step, however it can herald in a raft of benefits. If you read on you will learn what these are and may be more inclined to give up.

Health Changes Giving Up Alcohol

1) A Better Night’s Sleep

 According to the latest data published in Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, drinking before going to sleep increases the brain’s alpha wave patterns. This sort of behaviour is usually seen during periods of conscious rest rather than full-on sleep, and it effectively translates into a disturbed sleep cycle. Data accumulated from 27 different studies confirms that although alcohol may make it easier to fall into a deep sleep, the quality of individuals’ sleep suffers greatly after the first portion of rest. In the immediate aftermath of giving up alcohol, you may find it slightly difficult to get to sleep on the first few nights. The sleep you do get is likely to feel more refreshing, leaving you feeling energised when you wake up. According to this top drug and alcohol rehab centre, getting better sleep will make it easier to concentrate and boost your mood. 

2) Better Appetite Control

Alcohol is, according to a study found in the American Journal of Nutrition, a major factor in overeating. Information from the journal Obesity suggests that this may be because alcohol serves to sharpen our senses. In that study, researchers found that women who received carefully-controlled alcohol “infusions” tended to consume 30 percent more food than control subjects who received a saline solution instead. The addition of a moderate amount of alcohol increased neural activity in the hypothalamus and made test subjects more sensitive to food aromas.

3) Sugar Cravings May Increase

Sugar is a prime culprit for boosting dopamine levels, leading to increased feelings of pleasure. Alcohol has an identical effect. It’s quite likely that cutting yourself off from one dopamine trigger will make you more tempted to reach for a different one. Indulging in something sweet may end up allowing you to recapture the same rush you used to get from taking a drink.

4) Body Weight Drops

Alcoholic beverages are packed with calories, mainly in the form of carbohydrates. As a general rule of thumb, a single serving of alcohol (a glass of wine, a beer, or a cocktail) contains roughly 150 calories. With the exception of the potential health benefits of wine (discussed below), these calories do virtually nothing for you. They provide the body with no usable nutrition, yet they’re very likely to be converted into fat.

If you drop alcohol and refrain from adding in new sources of empty calories, the odds are excellent that you’ll start to see weight loss. If your weekly average hovers around five drinks a week, cutting booze out of your life will save you over 39,000 calories a year. That, in turn, translates into 11 pounds of unwanted body fat. When New Scientist magazine tracked the experiences of 14 staffers who gave up alcohol for just 5 weeks, the participants reported an average body weight loss of two percent.

5) Clearer Skin

You’ll find that your skin gets noticeably more hydrated after just a few days of abstention. Alcohol works as a potent diuretic, leading to more frequent urination. Alcohol also interferes with the body’s ability to reabsorb water by inhibiting the production of antidiuretic hormones. Giving up alcohol can reduce redness in your cheeks and nose, and it may also help with any long-term skin conditions (dandruff, rosacea, eczema, etc) you’re having trouble with.

6) Financial Savings

Drinking can be a costly way to spend your time, especially if you cultivate a palate for fine wines or rare whiskies. Actually sitting down and calculating the amount of money you lose to alcohol can be a potent motivating experience if you need another prod to give up booze.

7) Psychological Changes

Understand that giving up alcohol can complicate your social schedule. Associating with friends who are indulging can be a source of jealousy or anger. Ranking says that alcohol is often used as a ‘social lubricant’ to make emotional exchanges easier. People who give up a drinking habit sometimes struggle with feelings of agitation and restlessness in the aftermath.

(Are you drinking too much? Run down these warning signs.)

8) Reduced Cancer Risk – But Watch The Heart

Alcohol consumption is, according to the National Cancer Institute, a risk factor for cancers occurring in the liver, mouth, breast, rectum, and colon. The more you drink, the greater the risk. Note that moderate drinking may, according to extensive research, reduce your risk of heart disease. If you are a light drinker, giving up alcohol may lead to slight increases in your risk of stroke and diabetes.

The Bottom Line

The positive results experienced in the New Scientist study mentioned above went beyond weight loss. Blood testing showed an average reduction in cholesterol levels of five percent, blood glucose of 16 percent, and liver fat of 15 percent. There’s little scientific disagreement with the contention that kicking booze out of your life will improve your health, but the five-week study show just how rapidly you can expect to see improvements after you decide to give alcohol a pass.

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How do I know I am an alcoholic?

This post is inspired by a discussion that I came across on Quora a few months back where someone asked how he can reduce the amount of alcohol he drinks on a night out

So that would be the first sign that you have a problem right? No normal person that does not have a problem with alcohol or drugs will ever be concerned about how they can control the amount of alcohol he or she drinks, or the amount of drugs he or she uses.

So you want to know the answer to the question: how do I know I am an alcoholic?

How do I know if I am an alcoholic questions

If you regularly drink too much, and you start obsessing about how you can control it then chances are incredibly high that you have a problem.

And it isn’t even about drinking too much really, some alcoholics actually drink very little. It is about being powerless over the alcohol and about your personality changing when you drink. It is about the way you think.

An alcoholic or addict has what is called stinking thinking.

Here’s the difference between an alcoholic and a normal person…

A normal person goes out and has too much to drink. This normal person wakes up in the morning and thinks, oh dear I had too much to drink, I won’t do that again.  Then they don’t do that again and they don’t think about it again. There is no issue.

An alcoholic will drink too much (again) come home and think about how he can control his drinking. The first thing he will do is come up with an excuse for drinking too much last night and here are some examples of things to blame:

  • His girlfriend that had a fight with him (probably because he was drinking too much)
  • His mother that nags him (probably because he drinks too much)
  • His boss that picks on him (probably because he is hung over too often)
  • The rugby game that was won, so he had to celebrate the victory
  • The rugby game that was lost, so he had to drown his sorrows
  • There was no rugby game so he was bored

Ok you get the picture anything is fair game for blame.

Next step is the alcoholic will come up with ideas to not drink so much. These ideas consist of gems like:

  • The orange juice is to blame, so I will switch from Vodka and Orange Juice to Vodka with lemonade
  • Wine goes to my head so I will drink spirits instead
  • Brandy makes me aggressive so I will stick to Vodka
  • Spirits are too strong so I will drink beer
  • I will only drink on weekends
  • I won’t drink on weekends
  • I will start drinking singles instead of doubles (but end up drinking ordering 20 drinks instead of 10)

These excuses and ideas are endless.

How do I know if I am an alcoholic?

Well I’ve covered the basics here, if you are wondering about that then chances are high you are. If you have some of those thoughts that I just mentioned then you’re getting closer to breaking through your denial.

The thing is that coming to realize you are an alcoholic is your own path, not mine. It is not a question someone else can answer for you.

This is your journey and this is your life.

Here are some more questions to ask yourself:

  • How often do you wake up not remembering what you did the night before?
  • How often do you pass out from drinking?
  • Do you ever tell yourself to control your drinking?
  • How often do you tell yourself you will just have one drink, yet drink more?
  • Do you drink first thing in the morning?
  • Have you ever stayed drunk for a few days in a row?
  • Have you ever gone into work drunk?
  • Have you switched brands or types of alcohol in the hopes that you won’t drink so much or get drunk?
  • Have you ever lost a job because of your drinking or had problems at work because of your drinking?
  • Do your loved ones complain about your drinking?
  • Are you often the last one in the bar when your friends have long since left to go home?
  • Do you sometimes become angry when you drink?
  • Do you sometimes get emotional when you drink?
  • Do you have fights with your loved ones when you have been drinking?
  • Have you ever become aggressive and abusive when you drink?
  • How often have you driven drunk?
  • Do you get the shakes when you have not had a drink? Do these shakes disappear when you have a drink?
  • Have you ever done things you are ashamed of while drunk?
  • Is your drinking causing financial problems?
  • Has anyone else in your family had a drinking problem?
  • Do you hide your drinking from the people closest to you?
  • Is your drinking causing relationship problems?
  • Have you tried to stop drinking and not been able to?
  • Have you had memory blackouts while drinking?
  • Do you eat very little or not at all when you are drinking?
  • Do you drink until you vomit? And sometimes still carry on?
  • Have you ever lost control of your bowels or bladder while drinking?

I can ask questions like these until the cows come home, but you get the picture now. My personal belief is that if you are an alcoholic you do actually know it deep down but you just don’t want to face it.

That is what happened to me anyway, there was a part of me that I buried (under loads of drugs and alcohol) that knew I was an alcoholic and a drug addict.

I recently wrote an ebook about my powerlessness over alcohol and drugs, I shared stories from when I was in active addiction. In these stories you can follow what my thought patterns where, the times I suddenly thought I might just have a problem and then how I shut those thoughts away from myself.

I believe each person has their own process to go through, their own moment of realization and I also believe that everything happens for a reason.

So if you are here reading this post there is probably a reason you are here, and I can’t answer your questions for you. Take what you need from this and I hope you find your way, whatever that path may be.

Here’s some food for thought. Until you know and acknowledge there is a problem you cannot begin to fix it. The first step to recovery begins with admitting to yourself that you have a problem.

If you are an alcoholic you can contact Alcoholics Anonymous and you will find an amazing support system and other alcoholics to help you through this.

Are you an alcoholic or an addict? How did you come to realize you had a problem?

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The Darkest Hour is Just Before Dawn – My real life in addiction

The last week has been quite an emotional journey for me as I have been finishing writing my eBook The Darkest Hour is Just Before Dawn which is made up of real life stories about drug addiction. My drug addiction stories from my life.

I really enjoyed writing this book in the beginning and it was an amazing process but as the time came closer and closer to publishing I got physically sick. At first I assumed it was just the flu but now I can feel very clearly that all the emotions that came up while writing this book have come out and made me physically ill.

Every day this week I have woken up with flu symptoms and every morning around 11am I have started with a headache which became a raging migraine by the time it was afternoon. Last night was the worst. By the time my husband got home from work my migraine was so bad I wanted to vomit.

It suddenly became clear to me that this is not flu, this is all due to me writing about my life in such an honest way, opening myself up to other people and sharing some of my most humiliating and painful experiences from my life – things that happened to me while I was in the throes of addiction.

Thank you to my husband that spent an hour rubbing my back, neck and shoulders last night to help me relax, completely taking away my migraine proving that this is just stress.

I am worried about what my mother will think when she reads it, when she can see how far down I had gone and the awful things I did and the awful things I experienced. I worry whether she will feel guilt or like she failed me.

So a special note to my parents – this book is dedicated to you. You never did anything wrong, this was out of your control.

Without your support and love for me I would never ever have made it out.

The title of the book is something my mother has often said to me when I am struggling with something. She tells me the darkest hour is just before dawn. So when things are at their darkest the sun is about to shine.

There is a darker side to this title too. The amount of times I have been awake all night, wired on drugs, are countless. It reminds me of all those mornings in my life when I realize I have done it again, when the light starts coming in the window and I realize I am a failure.

This eBook will share many of those moments with you.

Drug Addiction Stories Real Life

Drug Addiction Stories Real Life

I bet you are wondering why I wrote this eBook about my addiction?

The first reason is because sharing about my shame and the things I have done actually frees me from them. Shame lives in dark corners of your mind, it thrives on secrets and it grows over time. Taking that shame and bringing it into the light where everyone can see it makes it smaller and it holds less power over me.

These things that I did and that happened to me were awful, but by sharing what happened I can just maybe help others. Maybe a drug addict that is stuck in the cycle of addiction will read my book and find the strength and hope to get clean. Perhaps an addict in recovery reads my book and can relate to what happened to me and his or her shame diminishes just a little bit.

Maybe a mother will read my book and understand her addict daughter and her problem better. Perhaps this mom won’t feel so much guilt afterwards and it will ease her pain.

These are all my hopes for this eBook. I hope it takes something ugly and makes something good come of it.

Alcohol Addiction Stories

Alcohol was present at the start of my journey and at the end. Drinking was the norm in my life and something that I underestimated, something that I thought was not a problem.

Alcohol is dangerous and it is a drug. The worst part of this drug for me is that it is so socially acceptable. Even being drunk is often not looked at as the serious problem that it is.

It is very addictive and very often people think that it is not as dangerous as illegal narcotics.

I don’t think so, I look at alcohol and I see my gate way drug. Yes I also smoked Marijuana – I did smoked it first when I was drunk. Yes I snorted cocaine. I tried it first when I was drunk.

Cocaine Addiction Stories

Strangely enough cocaine only showed up in my life when I was about 24 years old but it took hold of me so fast and dragged me straight down.

In a strange way I should be grateful to cocaine.

Without it I might still be limping along with my alcohol addiction, managing to convince myself that I don’t have a problem. Perhaps it helped me sink so low that I had only a few choices left… get clean, go to jail or die.

Cocaine made me stay awake for days at a time, not eating and becoming more and more delusional as time went on.

Addiction stole 15 years of my life.

From the time I was 14 years old and I started cutting myself, drinking and getting into abusive relationships until the time I was 29 years old and hopelessly hooked on cocaine.

Real Life Drug Addiction Stories

Writing this eBook was quite tricky because everything is so fuzzy. I can’t get things from that time in my life into a chronological order.

Some of the things I remember are fuzzy because of the alcohol and drugs but some of the things I have a few realities in my mind and I can’t figure out which is which.

That must sound so strange but the thing is that as an addict I had to lie a lot to save my bacon.

I would have to tell different people different versions of events, you know one to suit each person? Over time and with retelling things in different ways there are some things that happened in my life but I just can’t figure out which is the real truth.

Another difficulty I had with writing this eBook is that this is my story, but other people were involved too.

For this reason everyone in my eBook is called Bob or Jane, faceless people all with same name. The only distinction being between male and female.

And nobody in my life was called Bob or Jane so this fits nicely. All Bob’s and Jane’s are guilt free.

The first 2 stories in my eBook are free to my subcribers, so if you have signed up for my newsletter previously you should have received your eBook already by email.

If you sign up now you will be emailed your free preview as soon as you confirm your subscription.

You can now buy my ebook from the following websites:

Fiverr

SmashWords

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Make money promoting my eBook!

And of course since I am an online marketer, if you would like to promote my eBook to your friends, family or on your own website you will get 20% lifetime commission on all sales you make for my eBook from ListingDock.

The standard affiliate commission at ListingDock is 10% but I doubled that just for you!

Coming out next…

My intention for this eBook is that it is the first of three. I have now shared what my addiction was like, how bad it was. I am closing off that chapter for now.

My next next eBook will share my experience getting clean and the last will be my life in recovery, sharing how I stay clean.

Perhaps there will be more eBooks to come, who knows what my journey forward holds.

BUY The Darkest Hour is Just Before Dawn

Please give some honest feedback on my eBook if you have read it!

I would love to hear from you!

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Steps How to Quit Smoking: A Surefire Way To Be Nicotine Free!

I am so pleased to announce that I am 6 months free from smoking and I am so happy to share my steps how to quit smoking. I honestly never ever believed that I would be able to quit smoking.

After 22 years of smoking being a smoker has almost been part of my personality, part of who Lynne is. I think I can safely say (for now anyway) that I am now a non-smoker. Wow, this feels great.

What I find just as exciting is that I can now share with you all how I managed to achieve this and share my steps, hopefully you will join me in the non-smokers club.

Steps how to quit smoking now

10 Steps How To Quit Smoking Now

1 Decide on Your Reasons for Quitting Smoking

For me there were so many obvious reasons like my health, the financial cost of smoking, the fact it stinks… and these are similar for everyone. The deciding reason for me quitting smoking comes down to my children.

About 2 months before I quit smoking my daughter came to me (with a very proud) look on her face and told me she is going to grown big like me, wear my clothes, become a mommy and smoke. I felt so ashamed and so sad that moment. She wanted to be just like me. A smoker. This is what she looked up to. She was 3 years old at this time.

This was the exact moment I realized my smoking days were coming to a close.

3 Weeks later my daughter asked me to play a game with her. I told her yes, no problem, just give me 5 minutes. She then looked at me and said “Oh are you going for a smoke first?”. There was no accusation or unhappiness in her question at all…. but it suddenly hit me that I put smoking above everything in my life. Even my children. What am I saying to my child by my behavior when I have to have a smoke before I do anything with her? It says loud and clear that smoking is more important than her.

This was the exact moment I decided I would be quitting.

So my now 4 year old daughter and my 2 year old son are my reasons for quitting smoking. I want them to have their mommy put them first at all times. And if they do come second at times, I don’t want it to be because of cigarettes!  I don’t want my children to smoke and if they do, let it be because they choose to smoke, not because they are copying their mother.

2 Set A Quit Date

When I decided I was quitting I immediately spoke to my husband who was also a smoker and we agreed to quit and we set the date for 01 October 2015. This was a great feeling.

We had often spoken about the fact we should quit one day. My husband had attempted to quit smoking on a number of occasions and done quite well each time. I had never attempted to quit or even set a date before, or even agreed to quit for sure. It couldn’t have been easy or nice for my husband to quit when I was carrying on smoking.

Make your date for quitting whenever you want. Make sure you are mentally ready. If you don’t want to quit smoking you won’t succeed. Wait until you are really ready for it.

3 Tell People

Share with your friends and family that you are going to quit, tell them the date. The fact that I wrote a post about it on my website and then shared it on social media made it really hard for me to back out of my date to quit smoking!

4 No Nicotine Replacement or Cutting Down Before Hand

Until the day you quit smoke as much as you want, in fact smoke more! How addiction works is that unless you are physically consuming the thing you are addicted to, you are actually in the process of craving it. So to cut down is really just torturing yourself before you quit. Rather smoke, enjoy your cigarettes and mentally prepare yourself for the date you have set to quit.

The same goes with nicotine replacement. What is the point of quitting smoking and then giving yourself a little hit of the thing you are addicted to in another form? You will make it harder for yourself in the long run, I promise you this! So forget the patches, leave the gum and the vapes!

It really is a case of all or nothing here. Smoke or don’t smoke.

5 Read Fuck It The Ultimate Spiritual Way

This will help you so much with your mindset, this was a brilliant read and it not only helped me with quitting smoking, it also helped me change my life in so many other ways that I can’t even begin to describe. If I do try and explain all this book has done for me I will be writing a book in this article that will go off in a completely different tangent. So in the spirit of keeping it simple, read this book!

Here is my full review of Fuck It The Ultimate Spiritual Way.

fuck it the ultimate spiritual guide

Buy It On Kindle Now

6 Read Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Quit Smoking

This book was also brilliant and I need to find the time to write a review on it for you, but for now just trust me when I say you have to read this!

As an addict and an alcoholic that is going to be 8 years clean this year I saw the value in this book in the first few pages. I could see this book was going to be great. This changed the way I looked at smoking. It made me face my unrealistic fears of quitting smoking. It made me see how quitting smoking would make me free.

I highly recommend you read this book. It will give you so much more insight into smoking addiction. This will make your chances of success so much higher. It will also make the whole quitting smoking  process easier on you.

Allen Carr's easy way to quit smoking

 

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7 Change Your Mindset

This is a big one and hopefully this will come about when you read Allen Carr’s book. Smoking is a trap, there is no way out unless you quit. You are chained to your cigarettes. Quitting smoking is not a loss for you, it is a gain.

The sooner you come to see this and hold onto this the better. Even though you may understand it logically, when you quit smoking it is not so easy to keep the positive mindset that you are free.

Don’t think “I can’t smoke, I mustn’t smoke”.

Think “I choose not to smoke”.

8 Do Anything BUT Smoke, Be Kind To Yourself

This addiction is strong. I told myself as long as I didn’t smoke (or drink/ take drugs) it was fine. Bring on the coffee, chips, Coke (cola not cocaine), sweets, cake…

And boy did I munch! I am now left with a sugar and caffeine addiction that I will be addressing soon, so watch out for that.

9 One Day/ Minute/ Moment at a Time

Stay in the moment, don’t think about the fact you will (hopefully) never smoke again. This will fill you with terror. Just decide that for the next 5 minutes you won’t smoke.

This is what I did. I told myself have a cup of coffee and if I still want to smoke I can drive to the shop and get some cigarettes. When the coffee was finished I told myself I am going to go for a walk on the beach and if I really want to smoke I can do it after my walk. Keep busy and just get to another point each time.

This truly works wonders.

10 One Puff is all it takes…

One puff of a cigarette and you will be smoking like a chimney again! Please trust me on this because it will happen. If you start thinking you can smoke the odd cigarette or have a puff of one now and then you are mistaken.

I still sometimes want to smoke and the thought of never smoking again (or drinking or taking drugs) fills me with fear and terror. I tell myself every day that I can smoke, I can drink and I can take drugs… but if I do I will be back where I started. I can one day do that, it just won’t be today.

Just for today I will not smoke, drink or use drugs.

I hope you have found these steps how to quit smoking helpful.  I hope this will help you quit smoking and keep you a non-smoker. If you have any questions or just want to chat please leave a comment.

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Toxic Relationships in Addiction

Hi to you all and I am so sorry I haven’t been very active with writing lately, it has been a rocky start to this year and I have made a lot of changes to my life that are very exciting. If you want to read about the biggest change you can check out my post about why I want to be a mommy blogger on my baby website.

Today I want to share my knowledge and experience with toxic relationships in addiction. If you are looking for help for a loved one, please check out this post!

For me there are two sides to this topic that are very important. The first one is that if you are an addict all your relationships are toxic or damaged. This is what this post will address, specifically love relationships.




The other aspect of this topic is Sex and Love Addiction, this is something I will go into on another post. For now I will just say that I personally believe that every addict/ alcoholic should look into sex and love addiction simply because like I said every relationship of an addict in active addiction is either severely toxic or damaged.

Toxic Relationships in Addiction

Toxic Relationships in Addiction

So why do I say that every relationship of an addict in active addiction is either toxic or severely damaged? It is simple really, think about it…. you’re flying high as a kite on drugs right? Who wants to be in your company? You are drunk as a skunk, mumbling incoherently and you think the person listening to you is in a healthy state of mind?

Not a chance! If you are in active addiction or alcoholism then none of the people you are hanging out with is in a good mental state.

I am now referring to every relationship you have and every person has a number of different relationships. There are the relationship between yourself and your employer, your parents, your children, your lover or spouse, your friends… even the person that works at the corner shop that you go to regularly. You may not know that person very well and it may be a very sort of vague relationship but it is there. Anyone and everyone that you come into contact with can be considered a relationship.

And if you are an active addict or an alcoholic you can bet that every single relationship is toxic or damaged!




Here is a great example of how an addict recently damaged a relationship with me. There is a man that works in our complex, he does all the gardens in our complex. I don’t know his name, but I greet him every time I see him. I nod in his direction and smile. He does our garden every Tuesday. So we have had a relationship of sorts, a pleasant relationship.

However on Sunday while I was home alone with my 4 year old daughter there was a knock on our door. I looked out the window and saw it was this man. I opened the door without thinking about it. I mean I know the guy right?

I immediately saw he was high on drugs. He was edgy and mumbling and asking me for money, giving some story about how he was supposed to be paid but something went  wrong and can I please give him 50 bucks. I said no immediately, I mean this is actually a dangerous situation. I know, I have been on drugs. He then said but he will give it back to me on Monday. I told him  he has misunderstood me, there is no money on this property.

My daughter then jumps up and shouts she has money. You know, one of those ridiculous moments? He starts looking around me at my daughter, with a hopeful look on his face. I told him she is confused, she has no money here and I give my daughter a death look to try and shut her up.

I never knew he had a problem. He works during the week and has no reason to be here on a Sunday knocking on my door. This relationship is now completely damaged and I feel unsafe having a drug addict working around my property. I am at home alone during the day and this man knows this. I have my children at home alone with me in the afternoon and he knows this too doesn’t he?

So now a perfectly good relationship has been damaged by drugs. I am going to have to have a talk to the people that run the complex and tell them I am not happy with this man working here and this is a horrible and uncomfortable situation for me.

Why Can’t Addicts Have Healthy Relationships?

They just can’t. Eventually every relationship will become tarnished by the addicts behavior as I have clearly illustrated in the point above. To an addict every person is good for one thing only. What they can do for the addict. Can they provide funding for their habit? Can they give the addict a place to stay when they have been evicted? Can they cover for the addict’s lies and manipulation?

Ok so I am making addicts sound like the devil himself…. umm yeah well that’s how it really is. The addict thinks of nothing and nobody except him or herself and his or her drugs and using. This is the nature of addiction. It is a selfish and ugly problem to have.




What About Love Relationships in Addiction?

Unfortunately this is the same and it gets even uglier here. If you are an addict and you are in a relationship with someone I will bet that your partner is one or more of the following:

  • A drug addict
  • An alcoholic
  • An addict of some form (gambling, sex, love, porn, food, self harm…)
  • An abuser
  • A codependent

There is just no way that your partner is a normal, sane and mentally healthy person. This just does not happen. Healthy people attract and form relationships with healthy people. Unhealthy people attract unhealthy people like flies to shit. This is just a rule of the universe and there is nothing that will change this rule.

drug addicts and toxic relationships

There is only one way to start forming healthy and loving relationships and that is to get clean and to work a program of recovery. If you are in a relationship with someone and you are an addict you will most likely have to let that person go in order to get yourself into a healthy state of mind.

What About Getting into a Relationship When You Get Clean?

Tread with caution here please! This is a very dangerous road. If you are thinking you can get clean and after 2 weeks start getting into a relationship let me set you straight right now. The fastest way to relapse is to have sex or start a relationship with someone!

I’m now 7 years clean and I have watched everyone around me fall from grace and the number one reason has been sex and relationships!

Think very carefully about your life and remember it is literally a situation of life and death. If you relapse you could die. I have seen it happen plenty of times and it is awful.

My advice here is to wait until you are 2 years clean to get into a meaningful relationship with anyone. And yes, you should keep all sexual relations confined to a meaningful relationship!

It is important to work on yourself and to heal yourself before attempting to rock the boat with all the emotions that go with a relationship. If you are an addict chances are that you have never managed to have a healthy meaningful relationship with anyone. You may be 50 years old but you are more clueless about relationships than a 12 year old that is about to have his first kiss! You need to learn how to love yourself and only then can you think about learning how to care for and nurture another person.

And of course sex just opens up another huge can of worms too doesn’t it? Chances are you haven’t even had sex sober right? Sex is another whole topic that I am not going to go into now, but don’t worry I will be getting to this interesting topic at some stage!

So How Can This All Be Fixed?

So if you’ve browsed around my website before you might have read my post about whether addiction can be cured, if not then I suggest you read that.

My suggestion here is to make yourself a promise, that you will wait until you are 2 years clean and working a program of recovery before you get romantically involved with anyone. I know it sounds like a tall order but really the time flies.

You need that time for yourself, to heal and to make changes to your life. You need to grow strong and learn how to love yourself before you can choose a good partner. Trust me, I know this.

I have been in relationships with abusers, with sex and love addicts, drug addicts and seriously mentally sick men. The pain of being in a relationship like this is so intense that I don’t think I can even get it across to you. If you are in a relationship like this, you know what I am talking about.

I am now married to a wonderful man, that loves me and takes care of me and our children. I promise you something, if you can get inside my head and see what I can see now you will understand that a 2 year wait is well worth it. I wouldn’t even call it a sacrifice, it is an investment.

So get yourself into a treatment center or get yourself to a 12 Step meeting and get started with your journey to recovery.

If you have any questions or any feedback please leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.

You're not crazy, you're codependent

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Why Did I Self Harm? The start of my dangerous journey into addiction

Addiction is a very complex and disturbing problem to have but when you think that self harm can be a form of addiction it just adds more confusion. I have often had people ask me why did I self harm. Why am I an addict?

I can only tell you what I felt and thought at the time. I can tell you what went on for me. Some of this may be disturbing to you and upsetting. That is not my goal of this post or this website.

My goals for this website are simple. I want other people that are going through the same thing to realize that they are not alone, they are not crazy. I want them to know that they can heal and they can find happiness no matter how far they have gone. There is hope. May you find it now.

Why did I self harm> The start of my journey into addiction

So Why Did I Self Harm? What brought it on?

This is not a simple story to tell. For as long as I can remember I have always had the belief that I am different, that something is wrong with me. I have felt like there is a hole in me and there has to be something to fill it.

There are some specific incidents that happened just before I started cutting myself but did this make me do it? Is this the reason? No, I don’t think so. I think the black hole that lives within me is the reason I started doing it. The events that happened in my teenage years just sparked my addiction off.

Perhaps I might not have been a self harmer, but I would have turned to addiction at some stage.

The Black Hole Inside of Me

So what is this black hole I speak about?

Well it feels like I am not enough. Yes I did say that correctly, the word is simply “enough”. I was not enough of anything in my mind. I thought one day everyone would know I was a fraud.

I wasn’t clever enough, I was stupid. If I did a test and I did well I didn’t congratulate myself and take the credit. Deep down I was convinced I must have cheated and everyone would find out.

I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t nice enough.

I can’t explain this, but what I do know now and it is a common thing with addicts. We all feel this black hole.

I just wanted people to like me, to love me, but I believed I wasn’t lovable. I believed I didn’t deserve it.

I was self conscious and I was shy. You probably wouldn’t believe it if you saw me, but that is the truth. I hid it by being loud mouthed and out there. I tried to protect myself by making myself out to be someone else. I was soft hearted and sensitive but came across as tough.

Why did I self harm?

Gossip and Lies

Teenage years are rocky for all young adolescents. For me it was terrifying. It seemed I hit 13 years old and the black hole and my insecurities grew bigger. I wanted people to like me. I also started noticing boys and my peers started dating. I wanted to join in, but I was too scared.

I remember clearly there was one boy in particular that was popular and he had the most amazing personality. He clearly showed in interest in me but I was too scared. If he spoke to me I would literally turn and run. Interesting to note that many years down the line, on a drunken night out we bumped into each other in the parking lot of a popular pub and we kissed.

So back to what happened. I was too shy to even hold hands with a boy, but I wanted to. I wanted to do these normal things, but I just couldn’t. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. If I dated a boy he would find out what I was really like and he would hate me. Maybe he would tell everyone I was a fake? It was too much for me.




One day I came home from school and my parents sat me down and asked me about things that they had heard. Some other parents had told them about things they had heard about me. From what my parents told me it appeared I was a big slut, sleeping around and doing all sorts of inappropriate things with boys. Talk about being in shock.

I was 13 years old and it was humiliating. I went to school the next day with my eyes opened. I apparently had a reputation and I was the last to find out. I was hurt and ashamed.

I couldn’t understand. Who had made up these lies, who exactly had heard these lies? How had these lies gotten as far as my parents… and what was a blow job anyway?

This went on for months. I can’t even begin to explain how I felt.

He likes me, he really likes ME!

I turned 14 and things stayed much the same until we went away at the end of the year. While we were away at the end of the year I met a boy. He was a bit older than me and he was cute. Most importantly he couldn’t have heard about my reputation. He liked me and it was exciting. We held hands and later that day he kissed me. I loved that excited feeling in my stomach.

I had to go back to my family and he asked me to sneak out that night, would I? Hell yes, of course I would. This was the best thing that ever happened to me.

In case you are getting a nice gooey feeling about how my life was turning around finally, don’t. Because as fast as I was taken up into that great feeling I was brought crashing down to earth very quickly.

I snuck out that night and he raped me. He left me crying and bleeding in the middle of the night. I had my first kiss and lost my virginity in the same day.

I was crushed, hurt and humiliated.




To top it off I was busted sneaking out before I could tell anyone what had happened to me. I thought if I said anything then that they would think I was lying and just trying to get out of being in trouble. I kept it all to myself. I should have spoken to my parents because I was wrong. My parents are amazing and would have helped me. Instead I kept quiet and a while later I tried to talk to my little sister, she was twelve years old at the time and didn’t understand what I was trying to say.

We were very close and she was getting distressed. She knew I was trying to tell her something important but she didn’t get it. I left it because I didn’t want her upset.

I withdrew a lot and I was very angry.

Here we go again!

A few months later I was raped again. I won’t go into details about what happened because this is not just only my story and I don’t want to make anyone else feel guilty or like they are responsible. That is not the point of my story, this is about something else.

What happened is that this second rape was like a switch went off in me. I turned into a very angry and rebellious person. Yes I was always a little bit naughty, I won’t deny it.. but this is when I changed completely.

I could feel anger inside me all the time, just ready to explode out of me. It scared me. I started treating my mom really badly. For some reason I decided she was the one I was angry with and she bore the brunt of my anger and actions.

I am sorry mom. I love you with all my heart. I didn’t mean to do that, it was just the way it happened.

I Started Cutting Myself

At the same as I became a bubble of anger I started cutting myself. I remember the first time I did it. I was so confused and I didn’t know what I was doing. I had never heard of self harm and I didn’t know why I was doing it.

I found a blade at home and I held it against my skin and I pushed it in. At that moment I felt nothing. I felt free. It was like bliss. As long as I had that blade in my skin I didn’t feel hurt or angry or ashamed. It was like I was taken out of my own body and held in a safe little cocoon of nothingness.

I did it a few times and each time I cut I felt better, but then afterwards I would feel ashamed and confused.

Soon after I started with self harm my mom saw blood on my school shirt, she saw what I was doing and wanted to know why. I wanted to give in to my feelings and cry, tell her everything.

Ask her to please, please save me mommy. I didn’t though. I screamed at her and told her to leave me alone.

My mom was in a place where she was too scared to confront me about anything because she was too scared of my reaction. She felt I could have done anything and I think she was right, I was out of control. She knew something was wrong but didn’t know what or how to help me and of course I just pushed her away.

On the good side I did stop cutting, well on a regular basis that is. There were a few odd times over the years that I did cut myself again but it was not a regular thing.

That doesn’t mean the problem was just gone though. My addiction just changed it’s face which I will share about in future posts.

Over the years the rapes I went through and my relationships with men formed big problems in my life. This will become apparent the more I share with you.

So Buckle Up, I plan to take you on quite a dark ride on this website and this was the start…..

If you have anything you would like to share please leave a comment.

 

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