A relationship takes a lot of hard work to maintain, even if you love one another. Every relationship is going to hit hard times at some point but if you’re serious about it, you should take steps to work through those problems and come out stronger on the other side. But in some cases, you can’t work through the issues in the relationship and it’s time to bring things to an end. Deciding whether there are things you can do to fix the relationship or whether you should end it can be difficult and if you don’t make the right call, you might end up regretting it for years to come. If you’re struggling to decide if you should end a relationship or not, here are some things to consider.
Have You Spoken To A Professional?
This is usually a last resort option before you decide to end things for good. Sometimes, you and your partner just don’t know how to work around a problem but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be solved. If you go to couples counselling, they will be able to help you get to the root of the problems in the relationship and show you techniques and behaviour to help you improve things. If you get to that stage and things still aren’t working, then it might be time to throw in the towel and end the relationship.
Do You Trust Each Other?
Trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship. Your partner should be a person that you can trust without question and if that isn’t the case, you’re in big trouble. If you find that you’re constantly questioning your partner about where they’ve been or what they’ve been doing, that’s a bad sign. If you’re both feeling that way, communication will break down between you and that is going to kill the relationship completely. When you find yourself starting to mistrust one another, you need to start being honest with your partner and hope that they do the same. In some cases, you’ll find that your worries are unfounded and things will start to repair themselves but if you can’t rebuild that trust, it’s probably time to put an end to the relationship and go your separate ways.
Do You Have The Same Values?
Our personal values make us who we are. Your beliefs about the world should be important to you and your partner should be someone that understands and respects those values. That doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything and you can still have a fulfilling relationship with somebody even if you have different ideals about certain things. However, the important thing to remember is that there should always be a level of respect between the two of you. When somebody doesn’t respect your values, that’s when alarm bells should start ringing. If disagreements about things are starting to come between the two of you, you need to sit down and talk about it. If you can come to some kind of compromise and move forward, things will be ok. But if your difference of opinion is constantly causing arguments and you can’t find a way around it, the relationship isn’t likely to work out.
Are You Excited About The Future?
When you’ve been with somebody for a while and the relationship becomes serious, you’ll start thinking about the future. The idea of getting married to that person and starting a family with them should be exciting to you. But if you find that you’re thinking about it and it’s not exciting you, you need to ask yourself why. In some cases, the reason that you aren’t looking forward to your future with that person is because there are other issues with the relationship. If you can take steps to sort out those issues, you might find that your attitude changes and you start to look forward to your future together again. But if you learn to work through the other problems in the relationship and you’re still not able to picture a happy future together, that’s a sign that you just aren’t right for one another and you should not move forward with the relationship.
Do You Still Have Fun?
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s all the good stuff without any of the bad. But when things get a bit more serious and you start living together etc. you’ll have to deal with some of the more boring day to day aspects of a relationship. That’s normal and you’re not going to be spending as much time going out on dates and having fun together like you did when you first met. However, it’s important that you’re still enjoying one another’s company. If you aren’t, you’re just 2 people living together, you’re not in a healthy relationship. All of that fun stuff comes easily at the start of a relationship but when you’ve been together for a while, you need to work at it a bit. Make an effort to find time for each other and try to do more interesting things in the evenings, rather than just sitting and watching the TV together. If you’re still struggling and even when you do find the time, you just don’t enjoy each other’s company anymore, the relationship may not be right.
Do You Still Know Them?
This sounds like an odd question but after you’ve been with somebody for a long while and you might have started to grow apart, you can lose sight of who that person is. If you think that they’ve changed a lot recently and you feel like you don’t know them anymore, that’s a warning sign. It’s normal for people to change and you shouldn’t end the relationship right away, you should make an effort to get to know them again. But if you find that you don’t get along like you did when you first met, no matter how hard you try, then the relationship probably cannot be saved.
Ending a relationship is always a huge decision so make sure that you consider these things before you do anything.