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Self Help

Self Help Methods for Addiction is not something I really believe in, sorry but I have to be honest here.

Self Help Methods for AddictionIf I come across any ideas for self help methods for addiction I will share them here but I really do feel that addiction is something that we cannot overcome on our own.

How many times have you already tried to stop drinking or drugging? Were you successful? Most likely not.

We speak about being in recovery and being a “dry drunk”. The difference between these two is that being in recovery means we are clean and working a program of recovery. Being a Dry Drunk is just abstaining from using. The character traits of being in active addiction are still there and very much causing problems in our lives!

Recovery = Being Clean + Higher Power + Working Program

Lynne

 

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8 comments

  1. Brooke M. says:

    Hello, Lynne! I don’t believe most people will have success in getting help alone. While it is improbable, it is not impossible.

    I struggled with addiction, not with drugs or alcohol, but a deep-rooted depression that was plagued with heavy thoughts [and several attempts] of suicide. I was so unhappy, but one day I decided that I deserved more.

    What brought on that thought? I don’t know. I had several abusive relationships, several unfortunate events [being homeless, being raped, etc]., and I just decided that if I couldn’t die, there must be a reason. I’m not at all religious, but I know [now] that I do have a purpose.

    While I was battling depression and computer addiction, I had for a large part of my life, been very very lonely. I had chosen that path for myself because people were always my problem–take what they want and then throw you to the curb every chance they get. If I’m always being tossed out with the weekly trash, what’s to stop me from making me think that I am trash?

    I adopted some cats who were wayward and lost, unwanted like me. These cats gave me a purpose. I now had something that depended on me for its own survival, and someone who truly loves me for me. They didn’t care if I hadn’t done my hair, dressed nice, or had a lot of money. I had a lot of love to give, and that was enough for them.

    People love to thank for me for rescuing my cats, but who rescued who? These cats made me feel a sense of purpose, and for once, unconditional love. They put up with my mood swings, and they always come back to me when I let them out. They could run away, but they don’t. I’ve battled depression and addiction for the large part of my life, but they saved me, and I trooped through the hard times.. I couldn’t quit because they needed me.

    I think self-help has to come from within, that will power can make or break your very life sometimes. I do plan on seeing a counselor at some point, but I’m free now. I know I have the power to change my situation. I have, and I will continue.

    Best of luck to you.

    • Lynne says:

      Hi Brooke

      I agree with you that self-help is not the way to go to deal with addiction. However I had to add this in as a topic as a lot of people try and want to deal with it alone, and I hope to help them understand that they need help. In the way of a sponsor, the 12 step program, rehab, a drug counsellor or some other form of help. Even the church can help, not the way for me as I am not religious either but the church can help too.

      I love what you said about your cats and who rescued who. I believe animals to be very therapeutic. There is a reason why there are therapy animals and services like equine therapy which I find very interesting. Well done in finding something that can really help you. I personally love cats and have always had cats in my life.

      Well done on overcoming your computer addiction, it is not easy to overcome these things. I am so sorry to hear about your rape and abusive relationships. I can really relate. I have experienced both and it has taken a long time to find peace as I am sure it was the same for you. I really do recommend counseling, it is not always easy but the results are truly worth it.

      Kind Regards
      Lynne

  2. Karen says:

    Hi Lynne,
    I was going to say I found your website by accident but actually, your website found me! (too long to explain) and the timing is perfect. All very spooky really! Anyway, so glad you are living proof that alcoholism can be beaten. You have rekindled hope at a time when I was close to giving up hope altogether & feeling like I had already died, arrived in hell and was destined to spend the rest of eternity burning there.
    BUT, I HAVE to believe you are wrong about self help otherwise I really am doomed.
    You ask, “how many times have you tried and failed?” and I cannot count the amount of times over many years. I cannot argue with your thinking and reasoning. But when you live in many different countries, in farming communities, always struggling with the local languages and having no support network of any description – you know there is only one person who can get you out of hell. The problem isn’t denial or knowing what needs to be done, the problem is DOING it.
    There are websites in this age of technology (e.g. AA – for me, they have been no help at all)
    I now believe we often don’t know our true selves.
    If I can find my true self again (she has been missing for soooo many years I know I won’t recognise her, but to find her will be enough to start life as it should be, I’m sure) then I will be able to escape from hell. I now have renewed hope of doing just that.
    Anyway, enough from me.
    Suffice to say, thank you for restoring hope.
    Keep up the good work.
    Know your true self. Be happy & live a good life.
    I wish you well and I wish you lots of good luck.

    • Lynne says:

      Hi Karen 🙂

      I am so sorry to take so long to reply and approve your comment, for some reason I missed it!

      By self help I mean going it completely alone, I do believe that you need someone to talk to and to share your story with. It is so important to be able to get rid of the mask and start working on yourself while also getting some honest feedback and guidance from someone else who has been there.

      Each persons journey is unique and I certainly can’t say you won’t succeed on your own, I just know it is so much easier when you have support. Have you checked out SMART recovery? I am really interested in learning more about it myself since so many people are against the 12 step program.

  3. Sean L says:

    Okay, I think people interpret this term self-help differently. For those more introverted of us, who feel a need for people less in our everyday lives, we may be more comfortable with the idea of self-help than others. But I must make it clear, there is literally nothing we do completely alone on this earth. We are all interconnected whether we like it or not, and every thought and deed we have is going to impact someone else, and vice versa.
    Being someone that’s been through almost every recovery program the United States has to offer, I can unequivocally state that I did not get clean until I really wanted to.
    I rejoice every time anyone breaks free of addiction, however they end up doing it. I think the beef some people have with certain 12-step-programs is when they’re told, “This is the ONLY way to do it.” Broad generalities are never true for everyone. The only things we all do are eat, breathe, shit, piss, and sleep. That’s it.
    To me, if you’re not willing to help yourself, you won’t get clean. And yes, we all need a support system of some kind, at certain points in our lives, and most of us have family or friends that can help.
    I love your website!! You have so much great information and inspiration on here!! It’s refreshing to see someone being so honest and open!

    • Lynne says:

      Hey Sean – yes I agree with you that there is a lot more than just the 12 steps being the only way. There are many ways to get clean. I share a lot about the 12 steps simply because that is how I got clean.

      I do have to agree with you that I don’t like the way that they claim it is the “only way”.

      And yes I also believe that each person needs to get to a place where they are ready to get clean, until that happens nothing will change – with or without the 12 steps.

      Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts 🙂

  4. Missy I. says:

    Hi Lynne

    My partner has a drinking problem we have a 7 month old baby and weekends we are left alone because she’s out till the next morning.

    every Sunday her words to me is she’s never gonna drink again , even I told her that her phrase is old because when Friday strike I can say bye to her the morning because I would only see her Saturday morning again.

    Please help as I would like to get my little family and partner back to where it all began.

    FYI, we are two females.

    • Lynne says:

      I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling with your partner’s addiction, it is so sad and hard, especially when there is a child involved. Perhaps ask her to read some of my articles. You know it is not easy being an alcoholic and one of the biggest hurdles is denial.

      Have you read my article on what to do if a loved one is an addict? You might find it very helpful. The first thing I suggest you do is to find some support for yourself and maybe find a professional that has experience with addiction to help you and guide you.

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