Sticking Together Through Easy Riding and Bumpy Roads

Getting into a relationship is an exciting, butterfly spamming experience that will begin setting you up for the rest of your life. You will have no doubt gone through an endless number of relationships, from innocent schoolyard hand holding to your first serious experiences as a teenager, to university flings and then, now you are older, to your first forays into the world of an adult relationship.

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You will also, at some point, experienced heartache. This could be for any number of reasons. But some of these reasons can include immaturity, you and your previous partner wanting wholly different things, or merely just coming to the end of some finding-yourself experiment.

You will have loved and laughed and learned. As you grow older, the need to be with someone is something that slips into everybody’s mind. When you find this person, you will realise sooner rather than later that this is the person you want to be with without caring about what anybody else may think. You will accept all their faults and stand by them throughout everything that comes your way. You will stop being an I and instead become We.

Because of this, you both need to work together to hold on to one another, no matter if the road ahead looks fraught with challenges, or even if things seem to be going exceptionally well.

YOUR PROBLEMS ARE OUR PROBLEMS

Continual support for your partner throughout thick and thin is essential for fostering a relationship built on trust and transparency where you are open about anything and everything. This will allow you both to avoid any unfortunate surprises as well as feel comfortable in discussing any issues that you may have.

And these problems can range from minute issues such as the way you cook your eggs to something further, something more damaging that, if not discussed openly can have ruinous effects on your relationship. This can include things such as addictions, anxieties, doubts, and anything else that if not talked about can breed distrust and only cause further problems later on.

In situations such as this and as terrifying a prospect as discussing your supposed faults and issues with your partner, you will feel better receiving support for it all once it is said and done. Furthermore, while there is a large chance that your partner may decide it is not for them – through no fault of their own, some people just react like that – at least it will save you both further heartache down the line.

If they do decide to leave, then you should at least hope to still have their support in helping you change for the better. If not, then it is for the best you have both decided to move on. In relationships, there is no such thing as an isolated problem, and no one person is an island. However, hiding these problems from your partner will only exacerbate the issue later on.




TOGETHER WHATEVER

The fact that we can travel far and wide in the modern world has granted people the opportunity to meet anybody, anywhere and perhaps even fall in love with them. It is becoming something of a romantic tale that two people meet while in a different country, experience all the wonders of the word together and then, at the airport at the end of it all, have to say goodbye.

Long distance can be a tough thing to tackle. However, if you can make it work, then it will build a stronger relationship that is sure to last a lifetime. Before embarking on something that will change the course of your life though, you need to ensure that you can handle living together.

Visiting your partner’s country and living with them for a time can be something that will make or break your future. You will learn more about each other and be able to understand what cohabitation is like. From here, you will be able to work out any issues in the relationship and move forward. Or, you will realise that it is perhaps just not meant to be and go home.

If you do realise that this person is seriously the one, then you will eventually want to look into one of you staying permanently in the other’s home country. Those with dual citizenship for both your and their country will find these easy. However, those without it can look into more information on spouse visas which will give you everything you need regarding the transition from old home to new.

FROM DISAPPOINTMENT BLOOMS HOPE

Every couple will at some point in their lives suffer a disappointment that maybe came out of nowhere and it seems that everything is tumbling toward a downward spiral that looks impossible to recover from. This disappointment can stem from the inability to conceive, being denied a loan to buy a house and start the next stage of your life, or getting promotions at work or looking for a new job.

When this disappointment does strike, it is only natural to believe that things will only get worse. However, no matter how bleak and grim your situation may seem at the minute, it is essential that you keep your chin up and continue moving forward.

As bad as things can get, believing that things can, and will, only get better is vital to building on this disappointment and striving towards improving your situation. Taking on a positive attitude may seem impossible in any depressing situation, but letting this disappointment consume you will only make things worse, even if you felt they wouldn’t get any worse.

Understanding that your disappointment will bloom hope is the first step to making things better. While this may take time, it will pay great dividends in the long-term. No matter what the disappointment may be, looking towards ways in which you can change your situation, as opposed to wallowing in self-pity, will make the transition easier than you might have expected. You can’t predict what will happen in your life, so assuming that there is no light at the end of the tunnel is counterproductive.  Things will get better, but only if you and your partner make an effort to improve them.




CLEAN SAILING

There will be tough times in your relationship, but there will also be times where everything is perfect. These are the times where food tastes sweeter, the sky is bluer, and you hit every green light on the way to work. Life, in a word, is excellent.

And during these times you will have an extra spring in your step. You won’t fight with your partner over insignificant issues, you will look to support them in everything and be supported in return, and it feels as if you have developed a bond that no one can break.

However, as blissful as this may be, it can also lead to complacency. Just because everything is peachy and you find yourself sailing over calm waters with not a cloud in sight doesn’t mean you can begin to neglect the things that made your relationship as picturesque as it became.

A lot of couples fall into the trap of the routine. They become so comfortable in their day-to-day that they forget what ignited the spark to begin with. To avoid this, ensure that you both keep things fresh. It is not up to one individual, but both of you. Treat each other randomly throughout the week or month, surprise the other with a trip or dinner reservation. Whisk them away without telling them where you are going (not in a kidnap-y way, though) and keep things fresh.

A strong relationship takes work and don’t assume that just because you are both happy that you can afford to ease the speed. Couples will naturally lose much of the passion that was first apparent when you got together, you have to keep striving to deliver that passion, and live happily ever after.

EASY RIDES, BUMPY ROADS

It is (mostly) impossible to live out your lives together without having little disagreements every now and again. But as long as the good times outweigh the bad, then you will both continue to enjoy your time together and start a family, buy a house, and grow old together and retire to some sandy shore where you can watch the sunset every night from your balcony.

As long as you both continue to support each other through both thick and thin you needn’t worry about further problems arising between the two of you. But life is tough and often unfair, there is no predicting what might happen in the future and so it is up to the both of you to seek solutions to fix any of life’s problems together.

Share your doubts and your worries, discuss them like adults and fight for your relationship, without this fight, then you may discover yourselves drifting apart, cooking up resentment for any legitimate or sometimes imagined slights. A healthy and strong relationship can weather any storm, and you both want to be happy, and each other to be happy, too. Do everything you can to make this a reality, and go forth into the world together.

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2 comments

  1. Soph says:

    Hi Lynne I’m from Portugal and i bumped into your blog because i’m quitting smoke and i also had some addiction problems, anxiety and depression before, I’ve been reading everything and i want to to congratulate you for the amazing capacity for putting it into words, all of this are valuable lessons that can help others (and me) in all this journey. Thank you!
    I just ordered Fuck it 🙂

    • Lynne says:

      Good luck with the quitting, I remember clear as day how hard it was… but now over 2 years free from cigarettes I am so grateful. I truly am a happy non-smoker – something I never would have believed.

      That book is great! Enjoy it!

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